My Tumble Weed Two Step

Soap (FICTION)

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 01:23:09 -0400

(I did this assignment for my fiction class. It’s not my best work, but it’s a new style I’m trying out so I thought I’d put it up anyway)

They think they can do this but they can’t they think they can but they can’t. They think they’ll keep my kids from me and- that bastard he can’t take care of them like I can. I make their Halloween costumes jackets mittens. All kinds of mittens red mittens with green zigzag stripes at Christmas and at Halloween and- that bastard can’t have my kids I am the best mother, the best mother here. He doesn’t have time, I stayed at home with them I stayed at home he works I’m the better parent I stay at home and these bugs on my arms won’t stop and maybe if I had better soap, I’d have better soap if the bastard didn’t take my money. If I that bastard didn’t take my money, I’d have better soap and the bugs, the arm bugs would be gone.

I’ll get the best lawyer, the best lawyer there is, Jerry Reynolds or the guy on channel 3 with white hair the guy with the white hair will take my case. He’ll do it for free because this will be a high publicity case a high publicity case where the mom, the best parent, gets her kids back and it’s high publicity because it’s outrageous that the mom that makes the Halloween costumes, doesn’t already have her kids, that they took her kids, and I make them green mittens with blue trim and white with yellow trim and red ones with green zigzag stripes at Christmas. And these bugs, these itchy bastards, if I had better soap for my arms, better soap. And the air conditioning guy said the air works and its hot in here and it doesn’t work and the air conditioning guy, he’ll come back tomorrow I’ll call him and he’ll come back tomorrow and if he doesn’t fix it I’m writing to the company and he’ll lose his job and wish he’d fixed it the first time. It’s so hot in here but he’ll listen to me, he’ll listen to me because I’m the best parent and he’ll come tomorrow and fix the air conditioning and CPS will see it works they will see that I fix things fast and they’ll give me my kids and it’ll be on the news in the section where wrongs are righted and I will get soap and it’s so hot in here, the air conditioner man must’ve lied to me. He must’ve lied and said it wasn’t broken because he didn’t want to fix it. And if I weren’t for the heat, the arm bugs would leave and soap. I’ll get good soap. Dove or the yellow stuff that gets rid of poison oak or Ivory because it floats.

(Photograph of soap from editmycloset.wordpress.com
Painting: “The Unraveling of a Thought” by Duskemi at duskemi.deviantart.com)

Rumor has it... RUMOR HAS IT ALL WRONG!!! (Non-fiction)

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 14:37:00 -0400

Rumor will always be a part of our daily lives. It’s in our family, schools, workplace, and circles of friends. It’s on TV and you don’t even need cable to get it. Unless you’re a hermit, you’ve spread some yourself, and if you are a hermit, there are probably rumors about you.

In the last month, the gossip in my dance circle has taken some interesting turns. Here are a few real life examples. *Names have been changed to protect any shred of privacy that these poor souls might still have.

RUMOR NUMBER ONE: Jodie went on a romantic, spontaneous skinny dip with Foster last week. Details range from them just fooling around, to them sparking an ongoing relationship.

FACT: Jodie went on a platonic, spontaneous, fully clothed dip in an apartment complex pool last week. Source? Jodie herself, who showed up that night on my doorstep wearing a skirt, blouse, vest and leggings- all sopping wet. Who spread it? Not Foster. That’s all that is important.

(Fairie Gossip by Paula J. Becker)

RUMOR NUMBER TWO: There is a tangible list of who is hot and who is not that the girls in the dance troupe have made regarding the boys. The alleged scenario goes like this, “You are stranded on a deserted island with only the guys from dance troupe.” Guys are then ranked highest to lowest- highest being you would sleep with them first, lowest being you wouldn’t sleep with them at all. Details range from the list being one master list on which the girls have voted on the rank of the guys, to there being a list for each girl to be compared at our slumber parties. Some say the guys are ranked by looks, personality, and their reputation for being great or lousy in bed, others say it’s looks alone.

FACT: There is no tangible list. Is that to say that the girls haven’t talked about what guys they find funny, kind and attractive? No. We’re girls. Of course we talk about that. Is that to say that the island scenario has never been brought up? No, in fact it’s even printed on some of the truth or dare cards: “If you were the last girl on earth…” but we usually try to avoid those ones. In any case, no one friggin’ remembers who said what. Source? Myself. Who spread it? The guys, though it got back to me by a girl who asked me if the list really did exist.

RUMOR NUMBER THREE: Treva uses guys for sex. Details range from her doing this to several guys to her pursuing just one guy.

FACT: As Treva hears this, the proverbial car screeches to a halt. Why? Treva is a virgin. Not a quarter virgin, not half a virgin, A FULLY FLEDGED- NEVER BEEN TOUCHED FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME- VIRGIN, IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD. Want my stats? I’ve had three official relationships and one anti-relationship (what is an anti-relationship? Read the first story I ever published on this blog), my first kiss was at age 16, I have kissed seven different guys in my lifetime. I have never used a guy for sex, nor do I ever intend to. Luckily this rumor was brought to my attention by my boyfriend who, thank God, stood up for me when he first heard it. It didn’t have time to spread far, so I was lucky. I’m also lucky to have a boyfriend who trusts me enough and knows me well enough that he didn’t have to ask if it was true. It turns out it was only a miscommunication between tipsy friends. Who spread it? Now if I told you that, I’d be starting a rumor myself.

Have a rumor you want straightened out on here? Send me a message of the rumor and the truth and I’ll post it.

When I grow up, this is what I want in my ginormous...

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 15:43:10 -0400

When I grow up, this is what I want in my ginormous house.

bookshelfporn:

Library for 5200 books.

Designed by architecture firm Ilai and photography by Lukas Wassmann.

Day 21: Turn Ons and Offs

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 10:00:06 -0400

Turn Ons:

Confidence (not to be confused with cocky assholery)

Gentlemanly acts (opening the door for me or walking on the side of the sidewalk closer to the cars (not that I would prefer the guy to be hit by a car, but it’s the act that’s sort of sweet), walking me home at night, etc)

Spontaneity (totally-random-lets-drive-to-another-city-at-2am sort of thing)

Playfulness (swinging on swings, tickling, dunking in the pool, etc)

Romance (waking me up at 4am to watch the sunrise, dancing in the living room, holding me under the Christmas lights, singing, candles, calling me up just to see how I’m doing, pretty much the stuff from movies)

Clean-shaven (beardless, mustacheless, obnoxious-sideburnless, no stubble (it hurts
!))

Strength (not just physical (though that’s good too) but standing up for me when I need it whether that be to one of his friends or my friends or his parents. I can take care of myself, but it’s nice to know that sometimes there’s someone willing to do it for you)

Being open about worries, fears, problems, goals, hopes, dreams.

Cleanliness (in home and body. I want to tip-toe through a bathroom to avoid whatever is growing on the floor. I also don’t want to kiss someone who tastes like 3 day old pizza)

Care (for me, but also for himself. No smoking or drugs. Makes an attempt to be healthy)

Turn Offs:

Acting like you’re old or getting old (there is no excuse for this for people in their 20’s or 30’s)

Acting like you know everything (especially if you use the “I’m a little older than you” excuse)

Conceit

Poor hygiene

Being closed-off emotionally

selfishness

Lack of humor or poor humor (dead baby jokes are not funny)

Being an asshole to people (or just not being yourself) in order to impress me

Closed-mindedness

Controling (I don’t mind suggestions or comments about friends, but I choose who my friends are and who I hang out with and when (and need to be trusted that I’m not going to wind up in the hospital or jail or some other compromising situation. I also don’t have tolerance for unnecessary jealousy. Half my friends are guys and that’s exactly what they are, friends)

Lying

Constant indecisiveness

Day 20: Concerts you've attended

Fri, 01 Jul 2011 03:46:21 -0400

Michael Jackson (I was a small child)

Hullabaloo (Sacramento’s Oldies Concert (I was 12))

Alien Ant Farm

Day 19: a list of all the places you've lived at

Fri, 01 Jul 2011 03:39:38 -0400

Loomis, California

Davis, California

Day 18: Name the TV show you have become addicted to

Fri, 01 Jul 2011 03:35:10 -0400

Desperate Housewives

Day 17: What do you want to be when you get older?

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 10:00:06 -0400

As of the moment, I want to be speech pathologist. I want to help people learn to make certain sounds who have difficulty due to a mental or physical disorder or help people who wish to rid themselves of an accent.

(I want this mug)

I also (though this is waaaay in the future) want to be a wife and mother.

(I want this mug too)

Another dream of mine is to open up a coffee shop/dance venue.

(This is what I’m going to put in the mugs)

Day 15: A photo of someone you fancy at the moment

Sun, 26 Jun 2011 10:00:06 -0400

For more than just a moment I hope! My boyfriend, Glenn.

. . .

Day 16: If the world were to end tomorrow, what would you do with your remaining time on earth?

Sun, 26 Jun 2011 09:00:06 -0400

I’d wake up early and see the sunrise. I’d hang out with my friends and family all day. I’d watch the sunset. I’d have sex, swim naked, and eat all the pudding, pie, ice cream and baklava that I want. I’d dance and make sure everyone knows everything I want them to know. I’d stay up all night and stargaze with the people I love.

Day 14: Provide pictures of 5 celebrity crushes

Sat, 25 Jun 2011 10:00:06 -0400

I’m not much for celebrity crushes… I mean, I’d never put up a picture or poster of them in my room and the only time I think about them is when I’m watching them on TV… but here are some celebrities I think are cute or hot.

(Owain Yeoman (Wayne Rigsby from “The Mentalist”))

(Simon Baker (Patrick Jane from “The Mentalist”))

(Jonathan Groff (Jesse St. James from “Glee”))

(Hrthik Roshan (from Dhoom 2) definitely just eye candy, he doesn’t seem real enough for anything else)

(Childhood crush: Dante Basco (Rufio from “Hook”))

Does anyone know where this is?

Sat, 25 Jun 2011 09:19:14 -0400

I don’t know where this is, but I really want to visit!

(found on “The Berry”)

Day 13: Three confessions of your choice

Fri, 24 Jun 2011 10:00:06 -0400

Sometimes I pee in the shower (not at my apartment though because our drain clogs too often and I wouldn’t be able to look my roommate in the eye).
(I heard if you pee in the shower you can save up to 1,157 gallons of water a year!)

I’m afraid I won’t be driven enough to make something of myself by the time I enter the professional working world.

I’ve never had sex, though I’ve had opportunity. Sometimes when I imagine it, all I can see is myself showing up on my best friend’s doorstep afterward, crying that I made a mistake. I don’t know why I feel like this. I hope that someday, when I am happy and in love and with someone I trust, this fear will go away and that I’ll be able to trust myself to make that decision instead of just figuring I’ll screw myself up somehow. The great thing is, I’ve found someone that I really enjoy being around and everyday I’m with him, I trust him a little more and the image of me showing up on my best friend’s doorstep in tears, while still there, is slowly fading.

Go here for some feel good pics!

Fri, 24 Jun 2011 01:42:02 -0400

http://theberry.com/2011/04/07/morning-coffee-33-photos-12/

WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?

Fri, 24 Jun 2011 01:03:10 -0400

Michigan. I really really miss my family there.

Day 12: Screenshot of your computer.

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 10:00:06 -0400

Day 11: What is your favorite quote?

Wed, 22 Jun 2011 10:00:06 -0400

“To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.” -William Blake
(from the poem “Auguries of Innocence”)

(photo from www.thegrowspot.com)

Day 10: If you could only live on one food and one beverage for the rest of your days, what would they be?

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 10:05:06 -0400

Water. My favorite beverage really truly is water.
Banana Squash. The giant kind my Pop grows.

Day 9: Pet Peeves

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 10:00:06 -0400

When people smell like earwax or when you can see that they haven’t cleaned their ears in a long time.
When people don’t uphold their end of the conversation.

When I hold the door open for someone and they don’t say thank you.
When someone else holds the door open for a bunch of people and no one offers to take the door from that person and let them through.
Bicyclists riding on the sidewalk.
Pedestrians walking straight down the middle of the bike lane.

Drivers that try to mow me down when I’m walking or biking (though mowing me down at any time would qualify as a pet peeve).
When people only call you when they have a problem and never think to ask you how you are.
Teachers who cancel class after you’ve already left the house to attend that class.

Took this in the UC Davis Arboretum.

Sun, 19 Jun 2011 19:26:41 -0400

Took this in the UC Davis Arboretum.